Whetstone Treats Boy Students with Power & Control Issues
Whetstone Boys Ranch understands that parents want to send a boy to a safe, monitored environment where their son receives personal care, and individual therapies that help heal emotional and mental disorders–whether brought on by trauma, foster care, adoption or family genetics.
And while the young boy or teen enrolls our therapeutic boarding school for counseling, treatment, and improving academic/life skills, Whetstone also helps boy students struggling with power and control issues improve their mental and physical health.
Power and Control?
“Children who struggle with power and control issues manifest this struggle in a variety of ways. Here are just a few:” 1
Ignoring a direct instruction or command
Completing tasks half-way
Using the “silent treatment”
Pushing a limit (for example: child is told to stop throwing the ball in the house, throws it one more time and then stops)
Refusing to eat what is placed before him
Lashing out with anger when reprimanded
Refusing to apologize
“A child with power and control issues only feels worthwhile when he is dominating those around him. He achieves this domination by getting adults to do what he wants or by only doing what he wants to do. He is likely experiencing deep-seated insecurities which are masked by these power plays.” 1
Another therapist shares, “In my experience, this behavior came about for one or more of these reasons: “ 2
1) Kids with underdeveloped lower centers of the brain often experience a lot of failure when others are leading. That’s because those in control usually have no awareness of how to build into the structure (i.e. make subtle modifications) so that such kids can then easily comply and experience success.
So to avoid that dreaded sense of failure, some kids compensate by seizing control of the situation. They’ll insist on doing it “their way.” But their way also works best for their brain, and now makes it impossible to fail by not doing a task as others expect.
2) Kids take control because others (inadvertently) reinforce this distorted sense of power by giving a lot of attention to the negative behavior. Here, the child’s brain may actually register holding the whole family hostage (by refusing to do whatever, and thereby delaying everyone) as giving him a distorted sense of importance. It’s even better if family members become upset. Now he’s even controlling how they act! He’s center-stage as he proves that, again and again, he can turn a whole house upside down. And every time he’s allowed to do that, he further entrenches a brain map that reinforces he’s the boss.
3) Kids take control when they don’t trust those in charge to lead. If that’s so, then a key question to ponder is . . . how did those kids lose that trust in the first place?
Some variables that affect trust are: 1) As parents, we second-guess many of our decision; 2) We’re inconsistent with how we respond; 3) We focus more on the negative, without honoring the present gifts our child has to share; 4) We don’t regularly build into the structure to make it easy to comply.”2
Whetstone Boys Ranch Gives Families Healthy Ways to Heal Issues
That’s why Whetstone treats students with Power and Control issues. Therapists address your son’s mental and behavioral issues, and create an individual treatment plan to follow at school, including therapy. We also provide nutritious meals, and healthy exercise and activities. We want each student to experience effective counseling and treatment, as well as improve daily life at school, and back home with family.